Past Praying For
by AmbyrBlaze
Summary: Hes gone. And Shes alone. instead of turning into a zombie she decides to recreate herself she meets new friends and turns ina vampire just prove edward wrong. 100 years later they meet agian will bella ever forgive edward? t in case AV
1. Change

**hope you like it!**

He was gone. I screamed and threw my clothes and cds to the floor. _He's not coming back, Bella!_ I yell at myself. _He never loved you, now get over him!_ It's not that easy. I curl into a ball and just cried for 5 minutes. I tell myself, no longer, and I get up and head to the bathroom and attempted to make myself look decent. I get my savings from my old sock and got into my truck and headed to Seattle.

I parked my truck at the mall and walked in. It was pretty crowded, but I didn't move for anyone. I shoved until they moved for _me. _I made my way to Hot Topic. _If only Alice could see me now._ I knew she wouldn't approve: the one time I willingly shop it's to defy her. I spent all my savings on skinny jeans, band tees, jewlery, and shoes: a whole new wadrobe for a new me. The bags were heavy as I walked back toward my truck. I ran into something and started to yell.

"Hey watch where you're going!" Before I realized who or what I was yelling at: a wall. _Fabulous, Bella. Already going insane and yelling at walls. _I turn and face the truck and start toward it and then ran into something else, and fell to the ground. _Another wall?_ I looked, no it's some_one_ not something. She bent down and helped me up.

"Sorry." I stared at her in shock. Gold eyes. She has gold eyes!

"Vampire." I whispered. Now it was her turn to be shocked. "Vegetarian vampire." I amended. She smiled, flashing her dangeroulsy sharp teeth.

"Adele." (**A-dell) **She extended her hand as if to shake, and I took it. _She's hard and cold. Defiantly a vampire._ "Nice to meet you."

"Isabella Swan." and smiled at her.

***

And so that's how I came into my second vampire family. Adele became my best friend and so did her mate, Mitch. Like the Cullens they were also a large family with their adopted sister, Tiffany, and her mate, Chris. It's been 100 years since then. I'm a vampire now and Tiffany, Adele and I are best friends. No, we're more than that. Sisters, is more like it. Chris and Mitchell, my brothers, and my friends' mates and my new mom Nicole and new dad David. We took the Cullens' idea and became thier "adopted" kids. Adele and Tiffany were posing as sisters and Mitchell, Chris, and I siblings. It worked out perfectly. David was a big director and Nicole was a big designer. Alice would have liked her... _after all this time how could thier names still send knives to my cold, unbeating heart?_

***

We were back, to the place where my story started: Forks. Nothing has changed. Just when I think it's over, Nicole thinks this is perfect, it is, I agree with her. It was time to let go. David had a big house built. Everyone had a room to themselves and a room to be with their mate, so I had two rooms to myself. One room was my library (music, books, and all) and the other had my instruments. I play all of them now. We are a band. Not too well known, but we have an album. We play to play, but not to be famous. Our mansion has a recording studio, which I use it the most. _Tap tap._ "Come in." I rolled my eyes.

"Hey." Adele walked in "You ready?" I nod. She examined my outfit: black skinnies, a Hello kitty t-shirt, my hot pink converses, and gave me a nod of approval. _It's amzing how these things never went out of style._ I thought as I grabbed my bag and walked out with her. "I'm driving!" I shouted in her ear. She laughed and Tiffany came out.

"I wanted to drive!" she groaned.

"I called it so HA." I say as I get into the most inconspicous of our cars: the mustang. Being a vampire we had need for speed. The mustang had A LOT of work done on it. It may not show it, but this car could go 350 mph, and we zoomed off to the unchanged Forks High School. We were there in minutes. One things for sure: we will never be late.

We got our schedule and looked for classes we had together. Tiffany and I had the most similar of schedules and luckily enough my schedule looked nothing like the one I had had all those years ago. We said our goodbyes and searched for our lockers and headed off to class. Mine was English. _Yay._ I sarcastically told myself. Mrs. Fleming made me introduce myself .

"Um hi. My name is Bella Stratter. I just moved here from Alaska and yea." I went to my seat and noticed a lot of people looked like my old friends when I went to school here. Great-grandchildren of Angela, Jessica, Mike (mental groan) , and even Lauren looked like dead-ringers for their granparents. It was going to be a long day.

**AN you like it? you hate it? tell me so i know wether or not to spend or waste my time on this i want reviews! dont be scared to tell me i suck or give advice on how to make it better but gentle this my first fanfic if you have a seggustion please feel free to tell me, tell me if you liek it and ill put up longer chapters!! in case your confused **

**Adele- Mitchell**

**Tiffany-Chris**

**Nicole-David**

**Bella-? **

**and im on the edge about what to call the bans im between **_**For Never Yours **_**and **_**Something to Remember**_** i promise to put in songs if i continue! and yes the cullens will show up i know alot of ppl make these but i wanted my own! review review review and one more thing...review! **

**-Ambyr Blaze**


	2. When Life is The only Option

The bell rang and I went to the next class and repeated and to my relief lunch came. Not that I need to eat, or anything, I was just tired of hearing the teachers drone on. I made my way to the table where Chris was seated.

"Hey!" I greeted him. His dull expression cheered up.

"Finally! You know how long I've been waiting?" I smiled. "I've been waiting for an entire 2 minutes!" Adele came and sat down next to Mitch as I rolled my eyes.

"Hey." I said.

"Yo." she said folded her arms and rocking. I couldn't help but laugh.

"When did you become a wannabe gangster?'' she smiled.

"Between 1 and 2nd period." Finally Tiffany and Chris had deciced to stop making out in the janitor's closet long enough to join us.

"What happened between 1and second period?" Chris asked.

"Adele became gansta" Mitch told him.

"Oh in that case.." he started "Yo yo yo what up my sista from anotha mista ya dig?" We all burst out lauging.

"Nada bro the teachas cramping ma style yo she wouldna let me sing dude" Adele replied keeping her pose.

"Yo that aint right yo" Tiff and I smacked him at the same time "Yo womans that hurt, yo." We glared.

"If you don't stop I'm going to act like a prep!" I threatened, and they all looked at me in mock horror.

"Oh no please don't!" Tiff mocked.

"Like OMG did you see that girl's shoes? They were like sooooo last year and her hair was repulsive. What is she hiding in there?!" I said in a high pitch voice and preppy accent. Tiffany caught on.

"I know! It's like seriously get a BF! A life! Something! If I had puked on her it would've made her look better." Chris started to look annoyed and Adele joined.

"Like tell me something I don't know! Hey, did you see that hottie with the black hair? He was all emo and shit. It's like seriously why does gay-ness have to take the cute ones!" and Mitch exploded.

"SHUT UP!" Adele and Tiff burst out laughing, but I continued.

"Like OMG did you like just tell me to shut up? Like OMG how rude. Don't you know who I am?" I asked, pretending to examine my nails.

"SHUT UP! I know who you are, ok? Stop with the voice!" I smiled.

"Oh you know who I am? Then can you, like, tell me? Cause I have no idea. Wait! OMG are you Justin Timberlake?!" I laughed at he struggled not to strangle me.

"Ok, fine. I'll stop." I said in my regular voice. The whole table sighed in relief. The bell rang and we dumped our uneaten food. I saw everyone staring. _Eat your hearts out._ What wasn't to stare at? Adele with her slim body and blonde hair with her vampire complection was pretty. She reminded me of a little sister, a lost princess. She always had the vulnerable look to her her. Tight boot cut jeans hugged her butt perfectly and her v-neck shirt left much to be desired. She had the power to make anyone love her immediately and manipulate them to do anything for her, much like a siren.

Tiffany was different: She had the fierce beauty. Her hair was dark and long she was a bit of a tomboy. She wore a t-shirt and flares and looked amazing. She was sensible, but she always looked ready to kill. And when she smiled and laughed, it radiated. She was dangerous and she didn't down play it in any way. She was telekenetic and could fly. Throwing things across the room is her favorite thing to do.

Mitch, as I call him, was black haired in the emo-haircut style. Everything expect eyeliner. His power was probably the best of us all. He could get inside your mind and talk to you, read your mind, make you forget something or make you remeber it. He once described minds as a file cabinet: he could put files away and move up files, but he couldnt delete anything. He was gorgeous, sure, but typical. Very typical. Nothing really stood out from him.

A Chris was very jock-ish. He looked as if to be a football player before he was changed. He was one of those high school stars. You know, the ones who get the cheerleaders knocked up? He had the power to set things on fire, which comes in handy if we ever have to kill someone.

And me? I was me. Nothing had changed too much there except I got a power. I could block and unblock my mind at will and could take the power of anyone near me and use it. They would still have their power, but I would, to. I liked my gift because I didn't want to be limited to just one thing. After lunch was history, which wasn't hard: I'd lived through a hundred years of it. Next was gym and biology. I didn't mind gym so much anymore. I was graceful and corridinated, and now no one got hurt. I took biology because it just seemed to fit. I was back in Forks biology, which was what I took then I wanted to grieve fully. I was here. What's the point of avoiding it? I walked into the classroom and it took every mucle in my body not to walk right back out. Because sitting in the same seat he had 100 years ago was Edward Cullen.

**ok i ment to get this up yesterday but i had homework! sorry! i like reviews and i know my spelling is bad and my punctuation is to i need to get a beta im working on it ok? im hoping to get to 5 chapters before next wednsday and your support is welcomed so review equels preview! and to ease up any confusion**

**Adele- Manipulation of the heart can make anyone do anything for her **

**Mitch- A sort of mind reading only he can make you believe something that isnt there kinda like pushers in push**

**Tiffany-can move things with her mind including herself making her to fly **

**Chris- sets things on fire **

**Bella- mind blocking can take on any gift that is around her and is able to keep them kind of like whats his name in heroes **

**so reveiw review review!**


	3. Emotions Scare Emos

**Bpov**

And of course the only seat open was next to him. Life hates me for some damn reason. I took my time getting the paper signed and getting to my seat. He never looked up, he just kept looking down at his paper. Class started and the teacher introduced me.

"Class we have a new student today," gesturing toward me. "This is Bella Swan." and Edward's head snapped up at vampire speed to look at me. I glared at him, and unblocked my mind.

_I hate you._

I put my shield back up. I would've put up more but I felt it was enough. More is said when nothing is said. He just stared at me, wide eyed, i just looked ahead and looked human, counting each milli-second until the bell rang and stalked out as fast as possible in human speed. It was last period, so I get in the car and locked the doors. Not that it would protect me from him. I took his gift and searched for the minds of my family.

_Adele: Maybe we should go on tour like David said...._

_Tiffany: We need some excitement around here..._

_Mitchell: La la la... hey look a squirrel!_

_Chris: Don't set the human on fire. Don't hit Mitchell. Don't trip and fall. Hey! Wait I can't trip and fall! I'm so cool! _

I rolled my eyes at Chris. He is such an idiot sometimes. Using Mitchell's gift, I made getting to the car their first priority. They were there in mere seconds and they climbed into the car. Mitchell up front, Adele, Tiffany and Chris in the back. Once all of the doors were closed I raced out of the school parking lot and toward home.

"Bella what's wrong?" Tiffany said with such concern it hurt. I just shook my head and put on a song and turned it all the way up.

**(My Chemical Romance: The Sharpest Lives)**

_Well it rains and it pours  
When you're out on your own  
If I crash on the couch  
Can I sleep in my clothes?  
'Cause I've spent the night dancing  
I'm drunk, I suppose  
If it looks like I'm laughing  
I'm really just asking to leave  
_

I caught a glimpse of Chris air drumming and laughed.

_  
This alone, you're in time for the show  
You're the one that I need  
I'm the one that you loathe  
You can watch me corrode like a beast in repose  
'Cause I love all the poison  
Away with the boys in the band_

I heard Tiffany singing along and joined her and soon Adele did, to

_I've really been on a bender and it shows  
So why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes?_

_  
_We all stopped singing to laugh at Mitchell who was gayishly blowing a kiss and catching. He waved as if to say goodbye batting his eyelashes._  
_

_Give me a shot to remember _and the head banging began. Everyone was banging thier heads (its hard to resist with the song) so loud we were home but no one would dare get out in the spirit of the song.

_  
And you can take all the pain away from me  
A kiss and I will surrender  
The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead  
A light to burn all the empires  
So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be  
In love with all of these vampires  
So you can leave like the sane abandoned me_

There's a place in the dark where the animals go  
You can take off your skin in the cannibal glow  
Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands  
Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, Romeo

I've really been on a bender and it shows  
So why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes?  
Laguhing as Mitchell did it again _  
Give me a shot to remember  
And you can take all the pain away from me  
A kiss and I will surrender  
The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead  
A light to burn all the empires  
So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be  
In love with all of these vampires  
So you can leave like the sane abandoned me_

We waited the whole song before someone spoke.

"Bella what's wrong?" Adele said. This time everyone stared antcipating my answer.

"They were there!" I screamed as I slammed the car door. "They were fucking there!" I heard foot steps behind me but it didn't matter. I ran to my room and locked the door... not that it would do anything. Human habit, I guess. At a moments' notice my sister and my mom were there. Nicole was rubbing my back as I tearlessly sobbed into Adele's lap and Tiffany looking on sympathetically. None of them spoke, none of them had anything to say. I finished sobbing and got out my suitcase.

"We have to leave!" I yelled and started packing my closet. Nicole stopped me as I was shoving clothes into my suitcase.

"Sweetie we can't keep running away." she said gently.

"We're vampires for crying out loud! We can run for an eternity!"

"Bella it's time to prove something." Adele said softly.

"What's there to prove Adele? He left me! He doesn't care! Now it's my turn to leave him."

"Bella stop being chicken shit its time to face your fears." Tiffany glared, all signs of sympathy gone. "That was 100 years ago. You have let it go. He doesn't want you? Fine, then. Whatever. He's just one guy, Bella. You can't let him see you like this! Prove to him he is nothing compared to you. Or do you want to spend the rest of your exsistence in a cave cowering in fear?" I looked down ashamed. She was right. She was always right.

"You're right." I said as she used her powers to put all my stuff back.

"I know" she replied Adele got an evil smile on her face. Uh oh.

"You know what could cheer you up?" I shook my head she looked to Tiff. "Shopping!" They screamed together, and I groaned. "Please Bella? " Adele said using her stupid manipulative power on me. I grabbed my keys.

"Lets go."

**du like it? i forced my self to go back over it and fix punctation this time i like reviews i would love to hear your thoughts! review review and as for what the band name might be put what you think in your review For Never yours or Somthing To Remember or if you have a suggestion for a name and what should happen i would love to read them all!!!**

**-Ambyr **

**Review!!**


	4. Escape

_**Thank you to my reviwers! I would like to thanks to **_**the cullen clan****, **Elvia, and Bubbly131. _**Reviews help me write faster and update! **_

**Disclaimer **

***playing cards with Jacob***

**Jacob: HA! I win **

**Me: Yay. Ok, let's go. **

**Jacob: No way. You remember the deal. Say it. **

**Me: It.**

**Jacob: *rolls eyes and growls * Say it!**

**Me: FINE don't eat me! I do not own Twilight...yet.....**

**Bpov **

_Stupid manipulative powers making me do stuff I don't wanna do. _I thought as Tiff drove us to the mall. Once we were there I was dragged to what was supposed to "cheer me up". But all it did was remind me of Alice, my best friend once upon a time. I tried to shake her out of my head and concentrate on how to escape the two demons I called my sisters...

* * *

142 BIG shopping bags later, I collapsed on my bed letting Tiffany's gift put away the clothers that they _insisted_ on getting me. I got out my guitar and song book. They had been collecting dust long enough.

**(Eyes set to kill: Behind these eyes)**

_Colour the dark past  
(With brighter imagery)  
Fill blank lines with white lies  
Stop to think, then cover up my memories. (My memories)  
Fill blank lines with white lies  
Stop to think, then cover up._

It's the distance we need (to erase and to start clean)  
It's the distance we need (to forget)  
These miles give me the time to think of the differences we make.  
With you I'll always be missing.  
(The pieces of me you break.)  
Now that I hear my heart clearly.  
(The words I couldn't say)  
Speak through my heart now that I've changed.  
(You can see, you can see)  
All the lies that hide my  
(You could see inside)  
All the lies hide behind my eyes.

Bring back night to day (feel my heartbeat)  
To erase the pain (of my memories)  
(When the sunset fades, the moonlight tears my body  
'Til morning rays bring me to a better place.)

It's the distance we need  
It's the distance we need (to forget)  
These miles give me the time to think of the differences we make.  
With you I'll always be missing.  
(The pieces of me you break.)  
Now that I hear my heart clearly.  
(The words I couldn't say)  
Speak through my heart now that I've changed.  
(You can see, you can see)  
All the lies that hide my  
(You could see inside)  
All the lies hide behind my eyes.

(Let it go, pull the weight off my shoulders  
Lets hope for a new beginning.  
Let it go, pull the weight off my shoulders  
Lets hope for a new beginning.  
We'll set our feelings aside and forget what we've said  
There's not enough time to hide behind these eyes of regret.)

Within moments of finishing the song, David was on the phone setting up a new record deal and Adele was at my door.

"I smell a hit single and a tour!" A tour! Thats it! My ticket away from here.

"C'mon! Let's practise in the studio!" I heard Mitchel yell up the stairs and Adele started pulling me toward the basement studio. _I just need to write 11 more and I'm out_. I thought to my self as I started strumming.

**im not updating till i get 20 reviews so you like it? you dont? i need help as to what should happen im in a writers block but reviews could help...im not coming up with excuses not to write my friends wont let me stop...the tie me to teh chair and force me to write cruel isnt it! buts its my choice when i update *evil grin* sory its short like i said writers block its just a filler till i figure out whats going to happen next i know its mean to black mail with reviews but bear with me here**

**-Ambyr**


	5. Ditto

**I couldnt resist i just wanted to put it up despite the unlovedness i feel from all of my readers *tear* im working on getting to the good parts but its not coming... ill keep trying.... **

**THank you to all my reviwers ANd i want to thank my Wonderfuly Awesome Beta Bubbly131! she makes this readable! **

**Disclaimer:**

***Emmett is holding my upside by my foot* **

**Me: PUT ME DOWN!**

**Em: Not until you say what we talked about. **

**Me: "What we talked about." Put me down now! **

***Emmett glares***

**Me: FINE FINE FINE. I like Pizza!**

**Em: Ambyr!**

**Me: Don't hurt me! I don't own Twilight. **

B Pov

When the time came, I wanted to hide behind my books and never come out, but Adele wouldn't let me. I figured there was no point in fighting, so I got ready for school. It was a long night working on the song, and everybody liked it, at least. I slowly went down the stairs to see everyone waiting on me. _Sigh_. It was going to be a longer day. Tiffany drove; I couldn't bear to drive to my doom. When we got to school I put on my best "nothing's wrong" face and went into the murderous torture of school, dreading 7th period as it came closer. I thought of skipping it altogether, but I'm sure it would make me look weak. Which I wasn't.

7th period came way too fast. I swear somebody up there despises me. Charlie? Renee? Jessica? I'll never know. I took a deep un-needed breath and walked into the room. He was there already, and I blocked my mind, sat down, and ignored him.

"Bella." His musical voice sang. I kept ignoring him and used his power to read his mind: _What have I done? _The thought reeked of despair. I smiled mentally; this could be fun.

"Bella please talk to me."

"Never." I said simply and concentrated on the lesson. The bell rang and I ran as fast as I could at human pace to my locker, where a certain evil little pixie waited patiently for me.

"BELLA!" she screamed before running and tackling me. Ok, so she wasn't waiting _that_ patiently. I pushed her off.

"Go away." I spat at her "Just like before." I didn't even bother looking at her face before I walked off leaving her there. I made it to the car where my family waited for me. No one spoke. They just stared.

"How did it go?" Adele asked finally.

"Does it matter? Lets go home." I took the wheel and sped us home.

***

Alice Pov

I was waiting by her locker. Bella was back! Bella was back! Bella was back! I just couldn't get it to sink in. I saw her walking, and before I realized what was happening I ran to her screaming "Bella!" I tackled her, and she didn't miss a beat. She shoved me off before saying "Go away. Just like before." She walked away without looking back. When she was gone I got up and brushed myself off and went to the car. We had gotten a upgraded Saturn. Now the second I saw Jasper I hugged him and sobbed tearlessly into his chest. He stroked my hair and tried to calm me, which was impossible. I felt like I had just lost my sister all over again. I looked at Edward's broken face. He missed her more. I looked at all the other sad faces of my family; even Rosalie. She may be shallow, but family mattered to her. I felt my expression harden. Whether I died trying or not, I was going to get Bella back where she belonged. At no end will I stop trying.

"Ditto." Edward whispered.

***

Adele Pov

It's wrong. It shouldn't be like this. I can see how much this is hurting Bella, and I saw how Alice looked when Bella left. This isn't right; they were family. She shouldn't treat them like this, but on the other side she has every right. They left her, and she was so broken I knew if I hadn't changed her she... I couldn't even say it. In the months I'd known her before I did what I did, she became my sister. There was no denying that. I couldn't lose her, so I knew how they felt. There had to be someway to make things right....

**short i know im sorry im working on it! **

**-Ambyr **


	6. Stupid Lovey Dovey Family

**Thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers The Cullen clan,elvia, eddieluver, EMCismylove', tiffwheresany (my bestie who puts up with my craziness) and millienmile, twilight213, valerie3019, megan, shivxxx, sprazinko, hucki and a huge thanks to my AMAZING beta bubbly131 **

Alice POV

Days went on and nothing had changed with Bella. Edward made us swear that we would not make contact with her until he got through to her, but I never have been one to keep promises. Now she made no effort to freeze us out.

*flashback*

Bella was coming by our table, not looking at us. Edward whispered his apology again, but she just kept going. Emmett got up and grabbed her arm.

"Bella this is stupid! We didn't want to leave, he made us! Why won't you forgive us?" she just glared at him jerked her arm away.

"100 years." Was all she said before walking gracefully back to her new family, leaving us all stunned and silent.

"Damn. Bella can hold grudges." Jasper said finally, breaking the silence. If things were different, I would have smiled or laugh, but I couldn't find the heart to do even that. I scanned the room; the humans were whispering about Emmett and Bella's encounter. I shook my head. A simple shoulder brush was gossip-worthy here.

*end flashback*

Bella POV

Every time I saw them, the stitches - that had held my heart together for the last 100 years - tear a little, rebreaking my heart, slowly. Their broken faces. When I walked, I knew it was wrong, but I wanted them to feel the abandonment I had felt. I didn't know what would happen in the future. It killed me to even look at Edward's beautiful face, when all I wanted was to kiss him. But then the anger creeps back into me. The haunting words of what he had said in the forest ring in my ears, and I have the strength to keep with my freeze out. I could see Adele and how she hated the what was happening. She would make me do the right thing and forgive them, but she hated taking away free will. Tiffany was on my side in her exact words.

"That's right, bitch. Show them who's boss! Make them suffer every little pain you've had in the last 100 years! Those fuckers deserve it." But a question just keeps creeping back into my mind: Do they deserve it? Did I deserve it? What little twist of fate brought us here? It was Biology again; the period I hated.

"Bella." He tried again, this time reaching out as if to touch my face. I cringed away automatically. "Bella will you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?" I glared at him.

"I don't have a heart anymore, Edward. It's dead, cold, and unbeating. I have you to thank for that."

"Bella," he pleaded. I raised my hand.

"Mr. Hermin, Edward keeps talking to me and I can't focus on your lesson." I said in the sweetest voice possible. I _heard_ Edwards jaw drop, and I used his power to read his mind.

_Did she just tattle on me?_ I smiled innocently.

"Well um Edward stop talking to Bella and pay attention. And since you like to talk, what's the answer?" Edward shifted his focus off me to look at the teacher.

"Photosynthesis." Mr. Hermin huffed and continued with his lesson, and I started doodling randomly on my notebook. It turned into scribbles so I quickly gave up.

The hour passed faster than expected and within no time, I was home in the comfort of my room, the familiar weight of my guitar on my lap and my songbook in front of me. I was flipping through it to see if I had overlooked a song. And I had. I'd written this one a couple of weeks after meeting Adele. It hurt to think of Edward, but it didn't hurt to sing about him.

**(Paramore: When It Rains) **

_And when it rains  
On this side of town it touches everything  
Just say it again and mean it_

_We don't miss a thing  
You made yourself a bed  
At the bottom of the blackest hole  
And convinced yourself that it's not the reason  
You don't see the sun anymore_

And oh, oh, how could you do it?  
Oh I, I never saw it coming  
Oh, oh, I need the ending  
so why can't you stay just long enough to explain?

And when it rains  
Will you always find an escape?  
Just running away  
From all of the ones who love you  
From everything

You made yourself a bed  
At the bottom of the blackest hole  
And you'll sleep 'til May and you'll say  
That you don't want to see the sun anymore

And oh, oh, how could you do it?  
Oh I, I never saw it coming  
Oh, oh, I need the ending  
So why can't you stay just long enough to explain?

Take your time  
Take my time

Take these chances to turn it around  
(Take your time)  
Just take these chances, we'll make it somehow  
And take these chances to turn it around  
(Take my)  
Just turn it around

And oh, how could you do it?  
Oh I, I never saw it coming  
Oh, oh, how could you do it?  
Oh I, I never saw it coming

Oh, oh, how could you do it?  
Oh I, I never saw it coming  
Oh, oh I need an ending  
So why can't you stay just long enough to explain?

You can take your time  
Take my time

During the song Adele had come in to sit by me and Tiffany was leaning against the foot post while the guys leaned in the doorway.

"I forgot about that one." Adele said softly. Tiffany nodded.

"Would you be able to sing it on tour?" I smiled.

"Of course I would." They didn't look convinced.

"Come on, girls. Give Bella a little credit: she's strong, and she can handle this. She has us." I smiled up at him, then let it quickly drop and turned to Adele, and started quickly scooting away from her.

"Uh uh. Not that mushy stuff again." she started walking toward me, her arms extended. I fake screamed and ran. Of course, she caught me.

"I love you Bella!" she planted a big wet kiss on my cheek and when she let go, I was quick to wipe it off violently causing Tiffany, Chris, and Mitch laugh hysterically. I looked at the faces of my family. You'd think after 100 years we'd get tired of each other, but I don't think that would ever happen. We all loved each other to much. Family just brought back the memory of the Cullen's. They have been together for about 200 years now. Carlisle and Esme's faces came clear in my head. I missed them; I missed Alice, and Emmett's stupidity, even Rosalie. I shook my head. I would keep it up another week Maybe then I could start making ammends... maybe. I guess I'll play it by ear. Either way, I'd be fine. I had my family... oh no. I was getting mushy, too!

"NOOOOO!!!!!" I screamed running from the room, and locked myself in my library.

**Ill update sooner with reviews press the green button! **

**-Ambyr **


	7. Forgiveness is key

The next day was Thursday I decided it was time to settle things so when lunch came I didn't sit at my family's regular table I saw the Cullen's table full and marched right on over there grabbed a chair and squeezed in by Rosalie and Alice. I ignored the surprised glances and said

"can you believe Mrs. Harrington I swear in all my years I have never seen a teacher so horrible"

this break in the silence gave them a chance to recover and within seconds Alice and rose were squeezing me tight I looked over to see that Chris, Adele, tiffany and Mitch had joined the group smiling as Alice refused to let go next in for squeeze Bella to death hugs where jasper and Emmett, Emmett grabbed my feet like a child

"Stay whith wus bwella fowrevwer and ever pwromise?" I laughed and stepped out of Emmett's arms to see Edward I didn't meet his eyes I just turned my back on him

"I forgive you" I told them "except Edward" Alice nodded solemnly we sat down

"Alice, jasper Rosalie and Emmett" I said pointing to them as I said their names "meet Adele, tiffany, Chris and Mitch" I closed my eyes and waited for their responses to each other hoping for the best. This could get ugly…

**short i know i know i just really needed to get somethings over with and then got stumped and i thought i short chappie was better than nothing so yea sort of a filler sorries....**

**-ambyr **


	8. Cat fight

I don't know what I expected maybe for them to scream and yell and lunge for each other's thoughts I mean c'mon these people are my family. I was glad the Cullen's weren't mean to the people I had use to replace them for the last century

"So Adele I just have to know where you got those jimmy choos!" I heard Alice squeal

"Top secret but I have connections there prototype!" Adele replied

"I wish Bella could get into shopping more" I rolled my eyes I saw Emmett and Mitch hitting it off and jasper and Chris getting along well I smiled maybe the next few years will be happier. I ignored the staring I was getting from Edward

"so" Rosalie piped up "esme wants you to visit a sap" I looked at her and smiled yea the next decade or so will deffinatly be better

"wel then what are we waiting for?" I asked no one as I got up and threw away my unnecessary food. Before I walked 10 steps emmetts arms were around me again

"im sorry Bella but I misses you I laughed and continued to walk with emmetts arms sstill around me I eves dropped on my familys thought

_Adele: OMIGOSH I luv luv luv Alice I cant wait to go shopping in paris!_

_Tiffany: what a bitch! All blondes think their so cool well I got news for you inner beauty counts to bimbo Barbie! _

_Rosalie: tiffany is such a bitch she thinks shes so cool well your mother beeping wrong! Im so much prettier!_

_Chris: *internall smile* tiffany doesn't like rose huh…dude this may result in a totally hot chick fight im going to start making a mud wrestling pit and get the itty bitty bikinies!_(**got that idea from a certain guy friend of mine you know who you are oh wait you may be to stupid to remember TANNER**)

_Emmett: bellys back bellys back! Wait Emmett don't crush her she's breakable oh wait no wait wait she a vampire like me! Yay yay yay BELLYS BACK!_

_Mitchell: damn it where did that squirrel go?! _

_Jasper: yes Alice has a new shopping partner IM FREE! FREE Free I tell you_

_Alice: if jazzy thinks hes free he is sadly mistaken_

I read all of their minds except Edwards I couldn't do that and I couldn't figure out why. The world might never Know…

**SORRY TOOK SO LONG WILL BE REPLACED WITH BETA VERSION SOON! -AMbyr**


	9. Home is where the heart is

**OK I know I know im sorry this is actually a chapter I swear! My internet was out for like a month and my computer crashed so I lost the chapter I was writing for this story so im going to try again****. **

Esme and Carlisle were the 2 Cullen's I absolutely refused to think about the past century. Memories of them were enough to make a vampire cry. I missed them and now after all this time I would get to see them, I worried for my car as I drove at top speed to there house. Esme. Carlisle. My family. They all went with words of _home_. Needless to say I was excited. I slammed my foot on the brake.

We were there. I took deep breaths and focused on getting out of the car. Of putting one foot in front of the other and knocking on the door but before I was out of the car Esme was out side and looking at me her eyes glistening.

"Mom" I whispered choked up

"Bella" to the human eye you couldn't have seen us running to each other and hugging holding on to each other like our life support. Then Carlisle came out. The hugging continued. Hugs hugs hugs. They were everywhere. So much hugging. Normally I would be sick to my stomach ache about now. But I couldn't stop hugging.

The rest of the family had waited another 5 minutes before they came and joined the hug fest. I had introduced my new family to Carlisle and esme and instead of shaking hands hello they hugged and welcomed each other into their family. Combined big joined family. Everyone was hugging.

We all straightened up.

"Are we going to go inside or not?" Emmett whined. I laughed still choked up. Damn emotions. We crowded through the door and inside the Cullen House.

"Where have you been the last century?" Carlisle asked.

"Traveling." I kept my answer vague. Carlisle got the hint and didn't ask farther. Adele to the rescue. Not.

"im the one who changed Bella." Cue all Cullen eyes on Adele. I waited. Edward was the first to speak.

"you cheated her out of a life, you brought her into the life I left to keep her out of!" he yelled. Adele winced. I stood up. And turned to Edward.

"I wanted to prove you wrong Edward" I spat out his name "to prove that you were wrong. but more than that I wanted to torture myself. To live forever without you would be worse than suicde and death." I kept eye contact with him daring him to speak. He didn't. I turned on my heel and walked out. Thinking take that Edward. I got into my car and drove off.

**-Cullen house-**

"She was my ride…" Mitch complained.

Like I said im sorry I finally at least got a chapter im trying to get to the plot and skip the fillers but a story isn't a story without fillers. Im trying and hopefully il start writing more now.

**~Ambyr **


	10. Dont Look Back

This is as quiet as it gets  
Hush down now  
Go to sleep  
We were once perfect me and you  
Will never leave this room

More lyrics: .com/lyrics/a/automatic_loveletter/#share

I drove, for miles and miles I drove. I got a million calls, but I never stopped. Just drove. I didnt even know where I was going. But Edward did. When I finally stopped he was there. It was the bad side of port angles. When he rescued me, and told me the truth. I remember that night well. I just stayed in the car and watched him watch me.

I remembered

_Suppose I called you up tonight and told you that I loved you  
And suppose I said "I wanna come back home".  
And suppose I cried and said "I think I finally learned my lesson"  
And I'm tired a-spendin' all my time alone. _

I sobbed

_If I told you that I realised you're all I ever wanted  
And it's killin' me to be so far away.  
Would you tell me that you loved me too and would we cry together?  
Or would you simply laugh at me and say:  
"I told you so" _

he was in the car

_If I got down on my knees and told you I was yours forever  
Would you get down on yours too and take my hand?  
Would we get that old time feelin', would we laugh and talk for hours  
The way we did when our love first began? _

he was holding me

_Would you tell me that you'd missed me too and that you'd been so lonely  
And you waited for the day that I returned.  
And we'd live in love forever and that I'm your one and only  
Or would you say the tables finally turned?_

I was clinging to him

we had changed so much

everything had changed

"i never stopped loving you" he whispered in my hair

that just made me sob harder

"im so sorry my bella, I never wanted to hurt you."

"its a little late for apologies don't you think?, Edward, get out of my car. Now." I didnt look at him, I couldnt, if I looked at him id break. Id break to pieces in his arms taken to many nights in my room against his hard cold body. I knew how his face would look right now. Broken, sad, hurt. Join the club.

He got out.

I drove away,

I went home.

And I got to work

on my ticket out.

I'm not staying long.

And they'll never find me.

i am the worst author ever...i finally updated...*insert excuses here* thank you for putting up with me!

~Ambyr Blaze


	11. Daddy?

*insert excuse and funny disclaimer here*

It took all my strength to face my family after that. I don't know why I should be embarrassed…I just hated them to see me like that. To walk out unbelievably hurt.

He deserved every pain he's feeling. Who gave him the right to walk in and out of my life and play with my heart? Not me. No one had come to check on me, and I liked it that way. I didn't need their cheering up. I wanted to wallow in the misery I had shut off for over 100 years. I wanted to drown in it.

At the same time, I wanted it to be over. All I wanted was for it to be over. How could I have been so naive? I should have been more guarded, I should have known it wouldn't have lasted…But how was I supposed to know? I was I to know he'd do this to me?

How can someone had hurt me so much I couldn't get over it? All I wanted was for it to be over. To feel nothing. So what If it makes me a cold unemotional monster? Anything is better than this…but since I do have emotions I put it into a song for the tour

It was no use

I could spend all night looking at my song book and strumming my guitar and still came up with nothing. I couldn't focus on anything. I couldn't write I couldn't read. There was nothing to do but sit and think, and I couldn't even do that.

There was nothing to do but face my family, but I wasn't sure I could do that.

"YES YOU CAN!" Mitch called up, and I smiled in spite of myself. I heard tiffany ask "she can do what?" I trudged down the stairs pretending to not want to. "She can face us" Mitch smiled at me.

I flopped down on an empty seat on the couch "pick a movie" I commanded and Adele obliged with a smile. "Popcorn?" Mitch asked

"We don't eat…." Tiffany reminded him. His face fell

"Oh…yeah"

"Adele…what are we watching?" Chris asked cautiously

"A movie" he eyed her suspiciously

"I have a really bad feeling about this"

"No you don't" she said with an evilly cute smile

"I have a really good feeling about this" Chris said brightening up randomly

Adele has chosen mamma mia, to which Chris seemed unusually happy to watch. I was glad. Mamma mia required no thought, numbingly bright and sing song. Just what I needed. When it was over I heard Chris murmur "stupid pretty girl with the stupid siren power"

"LOVE YOU TOO!" Adele yelled with that same smile, everyone else laughed.

"So wait…who's the father?" Mitch asked suddenly confused, a pillow was thrown his way. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR!"

"after being alive for over 100 years you'd think you'd get smarterer" tiffany said.

"Don't be hatin girlfriend" Mitch snapped. We all laughed harder. How could I have been scared of these people? I suddenly got the urge to be somewhere. There was somewhere I needed to be. I grabbed my keys and feigned a smile for my family

"I'll be home later guys" I needed to be at Forks Cemetery. I was there. I slowly stepped toward the stones I knew so well. I sat on my grave, nothing buried there anyway. Except the girl I used to be.

"Hey dad" I said to the neighboring stone and grimaced at the way my voice broke. "I miss you. Forks isn't the same without you." If I could, I would be crying by now. "I know…I know we never really talked to much… and I'm sorry I shut down and left when Edward left…I should have realized what I had…I love you dad, and I regret leaving you behind like I did. Carlisle and David are great but yowl always be my real dad." There wasn't much else to say.

So I just sat on my grave next to my fathers and surrounded by the friends and family I used to know and mourned. I mourned for the coffin I could be rotting away in right now. I mourned for all the people that loved and missed me when I faked my death. I mourned for my family. I mourned for the 17 year old girl just out of phoenix. I mourned for the life I gave up. And I mourned for the love I lost. Edwards included.

The sun rose over the cemetery. And I grudgingly left my father there again, in the cold unforgiving dirt.

Cold and unforgiving like me. If Edward was dead would I regret everything? I didn't want to think about it. But I knew I'd eventually have to think about it. Eventually things had to be fixed. Right?

I knew in my heart that eventually id work up the courage to face it. But I wasn't strong enough right now. Right now I just wanted to run. Just like I ran from my humanity. My humanity. The reason Edward left. So I could keep my humanity. Its gone now. Ive had 100 years to mourn. Mourning is over. Regrets are over. Its time for the future. All about the future. Future future future. I can do this. I can focus on the future.

I can run in place. Run away from Edward and stay in forks. Plans been made. Lets see this run through. Let me be strong enough, just like Charlie wanted me to be.


End file.
